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Mar. 17th, 2009

dream log 03/16/2009

i'm shirtless walking though the town of fowler. it's day time and i'm slightly embarrassed. i'm supposed to go the beach that night with pedro and diego so i needed an energy drink. i walk into the liquor store knowing i'll probably get kicked out because i'm shirtless. i hand the indian man a 20 and say i'm going to go find a monster energy drink. he takes my money and says "nice tuxedo." i apologize and say next time i come in here i'll have a shirt, i swear! just as i'm looking for an energy drink candice and raymond walks in with their kids, and they're accompanied by jr and stevie (weird...). the liquor store clerk hands me my change and a monster energy since I failed to find one. it's not a java monster like i wanted, but it'll do. jr needed some change so i give him mine. i ask where they're headed and he says "it's kind of hard to explain." they start to leave and i tag along. seems like they're headed to mcdonalds, so i ask. are you headed to mcdonalds? "it's kind of hard to explain." they start walking into this rustically retro looking restaurant that i knew was there but just never been in. have you been here before? "it's kind of hard to explain." why do you keep saying that, am i asking too many questions? no answer. we take a seat at a very long table. ok seriously, why do you keep saying that? "every time i'm talking and someone interrupts me, that's what i say." but you weren't even talking! "oh...yeah." just then a little black girl comes running by (she's like 8), i know her in my dreams because she hugs me, but i have no idea who this could be. she calls me some sort of name and i jokingly tell her to shut up. i also hear someone in the background drop the n bomb. the restaurant goes quiet. jr and everyone else has now disappeared from my dream and the person sitting next to me asks, "did you just call that little girl a nigger and tell her to shut up?" WHAT!? NO!? are you crazy? that was someone else that just happened to say it when i was done with my sentence! I look around and about 80% of the restaurant is black. I'm embarrassed and scared. Some guy from far off down the same long table yells, "i heard him from over here!" WHAT!? I walk over there to explain myself, but my mouth is full of food. I can't chew or swallow in time so i try to explain my self with food in my mouth. It worked i guess because I left alive, but still disappointed thinking everyone thinks i'm a racist and i as exit the restaurant it is now sunset and I’m in the empty quad at fowler high. i walk to the front of the school where my car is parked. i call pedro to see when we’re supposed to leave. i get his ringback tone. its some nintendo song. he didn't answer. i guess i'm not going to the beach. i drive around. now here's a weird part...i pull up to a cafe where i guess it's ok to drive though the actual store. somehow my car is now a mini cooper (ooo, maybe cuz i just watched the italian job this week!) and i'm swerving though this old looking cafe/bakery (my favorite combo!). the employees seem slightly irritated, but this happens all the time so they're used to it. i drive out the front door and it's now the quad of fresno city. the mini cooper is now the little red plastic push car emma has. i have to move it with my feet. again, i'm embarrassed because although it is night time, there are still classes in session at fresno city. there's weird looking scion xbs parked outside. my alarm goes off.
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Jan. 22nd, 2009

worst day ever

rain makes fresno people drive like drunk, blind, sissy grandparents. lady driving 45 in front of me on fast lane. jack ass trying to merge in front of me on the 41 at last possible moment because he didn't want to wait in line.

walk in to work boss #1 (i have 2 bosses) says i'll be coming to your desk to go over some endorsements you fucked up on. no "good morning randy."

wife tells me to ask for the 13th off, thought this was the day of our vacation so i ask for the 13th off. bosses are out all that week, no can do. wife tells dad, dad reschedules to march. find out the vacation wasnt until the 26th. i'm a jack ass.

i need coffee. i ice my shit. no ice in freezer and some douche bag of an old lady always makes her weak ass coffe in the container CLEARLY labled strong shit. i have to remake strong shit and and wait.

get back to my desk, try to print my quotes. nothing came out, what't he hold up? no paper error, but theres freaking paper in it. refill it anyways.

trying to get ugent quotes out, keep getting phone calls to fix a stupid label printer and calls to fix the rating system app generator. fixed both. leave me alone.

hey good news, you're invited to a steak dinner at ruth mother effing kris' but can i go? no.

take a break, but since i'm still at my desk people think i'm still working so they bug me with work related shit. go away! i need a laptop.

when your day is bad and you decide to make a blog about it, you seem to find more shit to fill the blog with. damnit.

scanning some applications so i can send to a couple of underwriters to quote for me, one scanner doesn't work so i try another. still nothing. i think our email is down. i wish i was making this up. yep our email is down, the old lady douche bag just asked me to fix her email. welp i'm gonna eat my lunch now.

good news of the day, my dr's note was approved by my manager so i can wear my chucks to work now. wizard.

update: i didn't eat lunch. someone decided to warm up a lasagna that takes 20 minutes in the microwave. 20 MINUTES!? Why bother!? Uuuggghh. FTW.

Jun. 6th, 2008

save me or shoot me.

dear live journal, i rarely update you anymore and when i do, i rarely vent about drama but there's so much shit going on right now and i don't know what i'm supposed to do. i don't care right now. i got a lot on my chest and i'm gonna let it all out. we'll start with the worst news. my wife's grandpa larry was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and on top of that has growths on his brain because of it. so what's my problem then? sure i don't know him that well, but my wife does. they know each other really well. they are very very close, in fact that whole family is. now that we know he doesn't have that long to live, it seems like the walls we've took so long to build are just crashing down before our eyes. on top of that, Raley women don't handle change well--especially change out of nowhere. my wife, my wife's mom, and my wife's grandma (larry's wife) all freak out really easy and have a family history of insomnia. if they're not worried about one thing, it's something else. they are a rare, but pure breed. there's no one else on this planet as innocent, honest, and selfless as those 3 women. they put family before anything and that's how they've always been. that makes it harder and now that this is happening completely out of nowhere, it feels like we're all running around like chickens without heads. it's really hard to see my wife like this. it kills me when she cries, and i hate when she can't sleep. it's complete and utter chaos and i wish there was something i could do, but my options are--well, who am i kidding, do i even have any options? the first on our list of worries is our daughter. on april 12th, 2007 our world no longer revolved around sarah and randy. we did everything based on what we thought was best for our daughter including take her all the way to fowler every morning to have her babysat by sarah's grandma. in fact, we just recently moved to fowler so we could save on gas now that it's nearing $5 a gallon. now i know for a fact that we need to find a new babysitter, and we need to find one now. but who? all of my family decided they didn't want to be part of my life anymore and moved out of fresno. there is no one in my family closer than an hour and half away, one way. are we going to pay for daycare? how? last weekend we just received a bill from our old apartment for $800 saying we owe them for all kinds of bull shit stuff. we put a fucking $1,000 down payment on that place, and not only are we not getting any of that back, but we owe them $800! can we use our $1,500 stimulus on that? no, because we gave it all up to move to freaking fowler. so now what are we supposed to do? is my wife supposed to quit her job so she can stay home with emma? are we going to have to live in a shack? is she going to have to get a night job? but where? and will it be worth it? if we start taking emma to a daycare, it's most likely going to be in fresno and cost no less than $200 a month which will defeat the whole purpose of us moving to fowler in the first place and would totally piss me off because it would've saved us a whole lot of time and money if we would've just stayed put. there's just so much shit right now, i don't know how i function. i fear i'm going to be staying up at night too. i wish i could make some extra money right now, but my computers so fucked up i can't even make a fucking website. i can't design. i can't make music videos. and i've been spoiled with good jobs so much that i don't wanna flip burgers. how am i supposed to pay those apartment people? how am i supposed to pay for a babysitter or daycare? how am i suppose to re-order brand new street team shirts so that the 50 people who gave me their money won't feel like i just fucking robbed them? why did my grandma who lives in texas go see my cousin who lives in arizona's baby be born, when here's my daughter already 14 months old and has yet to see her great grandma. She didn't come see her when she was born, and she didn't come to her 1st birthday party and I miss her so much we were so close. Besides my sister and my aunt, she's the only other one in my family who really cared about me and was always there to support me no matter what i wanted to do with my life. Why? Why am I at work right now and why am I gonna start fucking crying at my desk? this is really gay and i don't feel like dealing with people's shit right now. It's my own fault though. I'm such a people pleaser and I don't know how to say no sometimes. I just wanna go home, and stay home and sit down and figure all this shit out.

I still hate not knowing what's going to happen next though. am i really going to have to move back to fresno again, soon? i hate not knowing how i'm going to pay for anything. i hate not being able to tell people i live in fowler for fear they might tell my dad. i hate when people say that i'm mean for not talking to my dad. no no, i don't just hate it, i fucking hate it. i hate it when people jump to conclusions when they have no fucking idea what they're talking about. you make your son watch hardcore porn with you when they're in 6th grade, or wake your 12 year old son up at 1:00 in the morning on a school night to drive to the jensen overpass to get you some crack, or take your son to dinner only so after wards he can drive you to super motel 8 to go get a prostitute to bring home, or have strangers come into your house at all hours of the day and have them go into your room and shut your door for 2 days straight forcing your son to fend for himself. you do all that shit to your son and see that when he gets old enough to realize that that's not just not normal, but completely fucked up, you see if he wants to talk to you ever again. what the fuck are you thinking? what if those dozens of times i went to go get crack, the dood on jensen was like, this kid's only 12, let's shoot him, take his dad’s car and his $20. so fuck you. don't judge me. i'm alive right now cuz God was watching me, not my dad.

my dad's in a wheelchair and knows how to use it to his advantage. he knows how to make people feel sorry for him, but i'm so on to his games. just because you're in a wheelchair doesn't mean you can't do anything with your life. in fact, he has a friend who is the perfect example of that. his friend has a house, a car, and good paying job as a network administrator. my dad took 9 years to get a associates in information systems. something that's supposed to take 2, took my dad 9, so don't you think that if he spent so much time earning that that he'd do something with it? well you'd be wrong. he does absolutely nothing except lay in bed and live off of tax payers. he's a loser, a liar and a thief. he steals from the government and he steals from wal-mart. he's not allowed in a-mart because he steals from there too! i'm sorry but i have a daughter to look after now and i don't want her to be associated with someone like him in any way.

sorry live journal. sorry to do this you. i think i'm done.

Apr. 23rd, 2008

the grossest effing thing...ever!

So we’re coming home from San Diego, right? Right. So we stop in Bakersfield to fill up on food and gas. I want Taco Bell, Matt wants Burger King, Greg’s down for whatever. We go to Burger King. MISTAKE #1.

We go in and order our food when Greg points out a dirty little hobo curled up sleeping in a booth with his whiskey on the table clearly visible for all to see. After we order, the manager lady comes out to kick the bum out. “Sir, wake up.” “You have to leave.” “You can’t be sleeping in here.” “I’m going to have to call the cops to escort you out.” “Sir, wake up.” “Sir, wake up.” “Sir.” “Sir.” “Wake up.” This went on for 10 minutes, with no response from the hobo. MISTAKE #2.

With the “Sirs” still going on in the background, I sit down at a booth across the room from all the awkward commotion. Just as I take a bite of my hamburger the manager comes running towards me hunched over making gagging noises! OMG! Did she get stabbed? Was she hit in the stomach? I look at the hobo who now has a thick string of liquid dangling from his mouth. Oh, he just puked. Ok, no biggie. I continue eating my burger. MISTAKE #3.

The hobo, let’s call him Ralph, gets up very emotionless, almost dead like. Ralph takes a few zombie steps then, BBRRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH! A 10 foot stream consisting of what looked like 100 gallons of dark orange chunky puke comes rushing out of his mouth like water from a broken fire hydrant. There is puke everywhere. All over the tables. Splashing all over the floors. Chunks of God knows what slowly dripping down the seats and nearby plants. Ralph takes a couple more steps towards me, I quickly ditch my food, and then BRRRAAAAAAAAAGHH!!! Another stream just as juicy as the first one all over the rest of Burger King and the stench took little time to permeate throughout room.

The rest is a blur. I was so horrified, and flabbergasted, the next thing I know we’re outside, Ralph is no where to be found, and the poor BK employee with a bucket, a rag, and no gloves, is cleaning off the tables.

Apr. 1st, 2008

Tell me, am I wrong?

...to think that there could be nothing better, than lying in bed with my wife, at the beach, sharing headphones, while the sounds of City and Colour soothes our restless souls to sleep.

Tell me.

Dec. 5th, 2007


I really love these new kisses they came out with! Yet another thing to look forward to around Christmas time.

Nov. 26th, 2007

All I want for Christmas....

[click pictures to zoom | click links for direct item]

1. Heroes Hiro T-Shirt $24


Size: M

2. Billabong Nor Easter Reversible Jacket $149

Online Only!
Size: S
I want a big coat!

3. Vurt Libre Hoodie $60


Size: M
Seriously, this is the coolest freaking hoodie in the world!  Lucha Lucha! It zips up to a luchadora mask!

4. Cop & A Half DVD $10
Target / Walmart / Best Buy

Aww, I saw this on OnDemand the other day, the lines were coming out of my mouth so naturally!

5. M-Audio MXL 990/991 Mic $99

Musicians Friend
/ Guitar Center
So me, Mok, Nay, and Reezy can lay some tracks on ya'll bustas!

6. ART Tube Mic Preamp $65

Musicians Friend
/ Guitar Center
Goes with #5, so my mic can connect to my puter.

7. Western Digital 320GB External Hard Drive $130


So I can back up my computer to reformat it so it's just like new again!

8. HP 20x Internal DVD Burner $75


Since my burner's BROKEN!!  Comes w/ Light Scribe.

9. Family Guy VOL. 5 DVD $30

/ Target / Walmart
Why don't I own this yet!?

10. Gold Hill Vineyard '03 Babera (Wine) $25-$30
530-626-6522 You have to call to order.
Best wine I've ever tasted in my life!</font>

View the WHOLE list CLICK HERE! Haha!

Nov. 10th, 2007

never never land

I'm just a big 22 year old kid. I still get excited around the holidays, and it's probably because I still expect to get some cool toys under the tree. I'm overwhelmed by sorrow when I realize that those days are long gone, that this years holidays are a grievous departure than those that I've come to cherish as a child. No more Christmas Eve's with mom's family then Christmas morning with dad's. No more Thanksgiving bike riding with Jacqui, Janu, & Olympus. No...wake up dude, it's time to start your own traditions. This is the beginning of something greater, it's time to give your daughter holidays to remember. It's time to share these new moments with your wife so that you two can reminisce when your daughter starts a family of her own. But don't get to caught up in the moment...or you'll be late for work Monday.

Oct. 30th, 2007

no concentrate

if there's one thing i miss about being a kid, it's purity. maybe it wasn't purity, maybe it was innocence. your decisions on who you liked weren't influenced by media, by what a pretty girl should look like, or what kids she hung around with, but rather what you sincerely liked in that girl. i still wish it was like that today. i can honestly say that until a few years ago i was totally oblivious that there is certain criteria a boy must meet in order to even get on a girl's radar. boy was i in for a rude awakening...

Oct. 8th, 2007


Welp, I'm officially a wino. Went to Amador County's Big Crush Wine Festival this weekend with my wife and her parents and tasted some amazing wines!! We went to Bray's, Montevina, Stonehouse, Vino Nochieto, Bantams, and Soban Estate. It was fun, every winery was jam packed and was passing out food and o'dourves. My favorite grape varietal is the barbera, and as far as this weekend goes, Bantam and Bray's make some darn good ones! The best zin I tasted was at Renwood. I believe it was a zin clone called granpiere. Magnifico! WE also went to Sutter Creek, did some wine tasting there, Gold Hills man! Amazing zin and barbera!! Went to the Black Chasm cave, that was also an amazing experience. Didn't expect a vertical cave. We were pretty deep! Yeah, I had way too much fun.

View the album here.

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